london calling

I've given this post a misleading title. And photo. This post has nothing to do with London.

Get ready for an explanatory run-on sentence. Deep breath. I just discovered Jurek Nems' beautiful photography site in which he has a bunch of London photos which reminded me of Holly's love for London which reminded me of Holly's most recent post which reminded me that she tagged me in that post which reminded me that I needed to write my tagged post which reminded me that I needed to come up with a better title than Tagged 2 which lead me to call this post London Calling and to stick a Jurek Nems photo in here. Exhale.

So, having very unnecessarily explained all of that, I give you six interesting facts about David Lesue:

Fact! David Lesue's small intestine is made entirely of gray felt and braided leather.

Fact! David Lesue once killed a local hobo just to watch him die. David then brought the drifter back to life (through a combination of CPR and licorice salves) only to kill him again. Instantly. With his eyes.

Fact! David Lesue only eats beef jerky and Score candy bars—but only after they've been soaked in a low fat yogurt brine.

Fact! David Lesue's car has never been washed by the hand of man.

Fact! David Lesue's hearing is so finely-tuned that he can hear you getting bored with this post right now.

Fact! David Lesue graduated from the University of Lemon Pudding with a degree in Deliciousness.

As you have now realized, these facts are not factual in any way, were heavily influenced by Chuck Norris Facts, and are not nearly as funny as their author thinks they are.

Now, because I know that Holly will not be satisfied with such obviously false—though interesting—facts, I give you six actual facts that are much less interesting:

Fact! David Lesue loves popcorn. He especially loves kettle corn.

Fact! David Lesue doesn't read as much as he used to. He tells himself that this is because he doesn't have as much free time as he once had, but he suspects that this is an excuse invented by a lazy mind that has grown fat on sitcoms and reality television.

Fact! David Lesue hasn't realized how close Christmas is. Those he will be giving gifts to will pay the price for this in the form of hastily purchased knickknacks and trinkets.

Fact! David Lesue wears the same pair of jeans almost every day.

Fact! David Lesue is terrified by the rate at which his girls are growing up. He dreads far-off milestones like their baptisms, missions, and marriages that he knows will feel—at least partly—like syllables in a drawn-out goodbye.

Fact! David Lesue is tired, craving a bag of kettle corn, and—like you—relieved to have reached the end of this post.